Fatherhood Archives

Why its important to have a School-Year Routine for Your Child

April 26, 2023 / Leave a Comment

50.8 MILLION kids go to public school each year, and those are a lot of kids and a lot of hustle and bustle in the morning.

Sometimes your kids do not want to get up, do not want to go, or even want to fake being sick all while you are trying to prepare for work.

Sheesh seems stressful, right? Yeah, I would know. I have three kids myself and want at least one more, haha.

The consequences of not having the time or preparing for work could be you become irritated with your child, starting you and the kids’ day off badly. You both could be getting to destinations late. Or yall have a huge fight and make the whole day terrible?

Five tips have helped me save time in the morning and made my life 2-3x better. With these tips, your life will get better.

Let’s get started

Set out all school items the night before

One thing to do for your child is to get them in the habit of putting their things together the night before. Being prepared the night before will save you sooooo much time if you do nothing else on this list. You will save a lot of time by just doing this one thing.

Ensuring your child has all their school supplies, uniforms, and lunches ready to go before they go to bed. In particular, they have a designated place to put their backpack and shoes. Which is easy to lose in the hustle and bustle of getting out of school, getting dinner ready, etc.

Having everything out the night before in a different spot for those two items, at least, will have you moving quicker. This will also help you avoid losing items, and you won’t have to ask where your backpack is. Where are your shoes? Where are your socks? etc.

It’s just easier to keep up with, especially if you all put their clothes out the night before, so that way, you are cutting down on the number of decisions you have to make that morning.

Fewer decisions to make, and the easier your day is, the happier you will be.

Wake up early

I know everybody has heard the early bird gets the worm.

Well, in this case, it is true. Waking up earlier gives you and your child extra time in the morning to get dressed, brush their teeth and wash their face, etc. In return, giving you more time to prepare.

As you can see, waking the kids earlier can establish a consistent routine to improve their overall sleep quality and help them feel more alert and focused during the day. Also, starting school early can help your child relax and have a breather before school or to get a jump on the day.

Also, you can make time for delays meaning you can leave early in case of accidents. If you have to turn around, get something, catch a flat, etc. Enough time will help you prepare for life unexpectedly, so you can still have a productive day.

So start by getting them to bed on time and waking them up early once a week to see how it improves their life.

Get Your Children Involved

I know what you think: “Getting the kids involved will make it longer for me to get ready.” This is how to help them get involved without necessarily slowing down your day.

You can involve them in your planning; for instance, you can let the kids help you choose their school supplies, backpack, lunchbox, and what they want for lunch. Doing this gives them a sense of ownership and responsibility.

Another way to get your kids involved is to make it as fun as possible. Like having a back-to-school shopping trip or having a particular breakfast made every Monday because we all know how hard Monday can be.

Getting your child involved can help them be more excited about school.

Have a routine

Giving your kids a set schedule and routine for getting your kids ready for school can start each day as smoothly as possible. Because you are on schedule and have a routine that will save time.

To do this, you can prepare meals, snacks, and backpacks the night before. Doing this will save time in the morning when you’re getting them ready for school and while you are getting ready for work.

Have a quick morning checklist.

Having a checklist can help ensure you remember everything and complete all tasks before leaving for school. Furthermore, having a checklist can help kids with other areas of their life.

Encouraging good habits and having a morning routine with a checklist can and will establish good practices with your child, such as packing lunch or completing a short homework assignment.

A morning checklist can improve punctuality and a constant morning routine, and a list improves timeliness, helping kids arrive at school on time and ready to learn.

When you and the kids have a checklist, overall reduces stress, and having a set routine and list reduces stress and morning chaos for you and your child.

Finally, having a morning checklist helps promotes independence for kids, and a morning checklist helps kids learn to manage their own time and responsibilities, which in turn will help promote independence.

Lets Recap

Set out all school items the night before.
Wake up early.
Get Your Children Involved
Have a routine.
Have a quick morning checklist.

Using these tips will help you establish a better school routine. If these tips helped you in any way, sign up for my newsletter.

I send out tips and tricks about fitness, fatherhood, and finance weekly.

Best Ways To Keep Your Cool While Traveling With Kids

November 19, 2022 / 2 Comments

62% of parents travel with children under the age of five., you have to imagine that it is hard to keep cool while traveling with those kids.

Now you are reading this because you either have kids or planning to have a kid.

Having a child under five is already stressful, even more so when traveling with them.

Yes, you will get upset.

Yes, something will go wrong.

Yes, flights will get delayed, or there will be a traffic jam when kids scream at the top of their lungs.

The above issue is a problem, but these tips can make traveling easier and smoother.

What type of vacation is it if your kids are screaming and fighting? Boo bummer, nobody likes that.

If you follow these tips, I guarantee they will surely help you on your next travel.

Here are the best ways to keep your cool while traveling with kids.

Let’s get it started!!!

Plan Ahead

Procrastination is a thing many people do, but procrastinating with traveling and kids is a nightmare!!

Here is how you can prepare if you are driving:

Fill up the tank, and grab the snacks, diapers, and pull-ups.

Reserve the rental a few weeks before you need it vs. renting it the day of.

When you rent the vehicle, make sure it’s for the day before you plan to travel. Why a day before the trip?

Because anything could happen, you want to ensure the rental car is ready.

That leads to the next thing you can load the car with car seats and luggage (if you are in a safe neighborhood or have a garage) all the day before, so you won’t have to rush with loud kids.

Prepare also by gassing the vehicle early.

That way, you have one less thing to worry about.

Prepare the snacks, and pre-see the drive. If you are driving more than, say, 8hrs (a typical work day), then prep to have a hotel in order so you can rest up, the kids can stretch their legs, and they can breathe a little bit.

So preparing is the most important thing to do before taking the trip, and it will help you stay calm because you are not rushing.

SNACKs SNACK SNACKS

Yes, we all know kids have huge appetites, and we all know they are hungry when it comes to getting something to eat. So make sure you have snacks.

Not just Cheetos, powdered donuts, etc.

Also, healthy snacks, like trail mix (if not allergic, obviously), fruit cups, turkey rollups, cheese, crackers, etc.

It would help if you had snacks because you could be on the road for a few hours at a time, and you don’t want to have to pull over, wait in line and eat fast food.

Especially if the kids are yelling and fighting in the back because they have not eaten the whole trip, or you could be in the middle of nowhere and not have any place to stop by.

So having snacks will help keep you cool while driving with the kids.

Remember the water or water down juice, whatever you kids like to take down those snacks.

Having snacks help keep the cookie monsters at bay, at least for a little bit.

Drive AT Night

If you are like me, you give your kids a bedtime, but this trick has worked for me. You have to keep the kids up.

Then take the road late at night if it’s a long drive or get on the road early in the morning if it is a shorter drive.

This way, the kids are still asleep. You can drive without the pain of hearing the kids whining and fighting.

You have to make sure you get some rest if you are going to ride at Night (trust me, I do it a lot); when I say some, I mean a lot of rest, like at least 6hrs.

Entertainment

What do I mean by entertainment? Well, what do kids like to do the most? Playing games with that said, play games with the kids like:

Trivia games: something surrounding their favorite tv show or, if they are old enough, American history.

Storytime: is a good one, and kids love a good story and love to create their stories. Have them do that; I’m sure it will be entertaining.

Lastly, would you rather, for instance, would you play a video game or watch tv all day? Would you rather have ice cream or french fries?

I know some parents are against screen time, but on the road can make an exception.

You can choose what games are on the tablet or phone.

Give the kids that and let them play educational games or watch educational kiddie videos for part of the ride.

TAKE A BREAK

Drowsy driving causes about 100,000 crashes, yeah, 1500 of those being deaths.

Sometimes on a long car ride and the kids yelling and fighting, the traffic goes too slow, and you are just flat-out tired.

So taking a break is essential for you and your family. Essentially is a great way to keep cool while traveling with your kids.

Find a rest area to stop at, let the kids run around a bit, and stretch their legs or something.

If you can’t find a rest, go to a truckers gas station such as Loves Gas Station. They are well-lit and always have people around and are open 24/7.

If that’s not good, then find a hotel which is always a safe bet because having a soft bed to relax in is a great way to rest on a road trip and calm your nerves.

Conclusion

Yes, kids can be annoying, especially when crammed in a car and when you are in the car for hours, but these are the best ways to keep your cool while traveling with kids.

Plan Ahead
Keep Snacks
Drive At Night (If Possible)
Just Take a Break

You may only be able to do some things on the list to help keep your cool and not crash out with the kids.

Sure yelling and turning up the loud music could be a solution, but is it an effect to keep your cool while traveling with your kids?

Especially if you have 5hrs to go, using these alternative ways can help you not be stressed out and keep you cool most of the time, if not the whole time.

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Thanks for skimming!

6 Tips to Better Discipline your child

February 1, 2022 / Leave a Comment

SHUT THE HELL UP WHEN I’M TALKING

Words that I constantly heard growing up from my mother and parents around me.

Years of this and you will see that a child eventually grows up to supress their feelings and not to express themselves.

Having a child is hard in itself, but trying to find the right way to discipline them without causing long term effects is even more difficult.

Discipling your child can be challenging, especially when your children aren’t listening and you have multiple children.

That’s why in this article, I’m going to give you these 6 Different ways you can discipline your child.

Tip One

No shouting and yelling; growing up, the primary and only way my mother raised me was by yelling and screaming.

There was no “talking it out,” only yelling. It’s funny now looking back at it, but then it was not, and I remember how it made me feel. Now that I have children of my own, I very much looked for better ways to discipline my child rather than constantly yelling.

I don’t want my child to fear me like my mother, and I feel you can have respect without putting fear in a child’s heart. Trying to teach, but is that the optimal way to discipline a child? Maybe try to teach and explain why what your child did was wrong.

Tip Two

Tip two is to align our expectations with the reality that our children will make mistakes that they don’t come out of the womb knowing right and wrong.

Which will go back to teaching our children what’s right and wrong and having patience for when they get it right.

What if someone yelled at you as an adult every time you made a mistake or smacked you for making a mistake in life or at your job? Yeah, you don’t like that picture, do you?

Tip Three

For a long time, my mother would be angry because I would fall asleep during math class but still pass, which always threw me off.

When we finally talked about it, she realized that I learned by just following the examples in the book and doing it myself when it came to math. I say you should understand your child’s learning style.

Some learn from visualization, others learn from listening, and some learn by doing. Once you know your child’s learning style, you can show them how to do certain things in their way vs. getting angry and learning it by your method.

Tip Four

I was with my daughter, and I told her to clean up her room. When she was “done,” she would come and get me. I would go into her room, and her room was not necessarily clean, books still on the floor, toys everywhere, and clothes on the floor.

After A few times telling her repeatedly to clean her room. It finally dawned on me that she may not know exactly how to clean her room.

With that, I decided to meet her halfway and show her that cleaning her room is more than just picking up her stuffed animals. So I showed her where everything goes, and if she needed help with putting anything up, she could come and get me.

SO, learn to meet your kids halfway. That may make all the difference in you telling a child 100 times vs. 5o times.

Tip Five

Ok, I know some readers may be reading this and thinking to themselves, “So are you telling me to explain to my child, give them choices, but what about the consequences?”

In life, there are consequences for each action, positive or negative. Our children are not exempt. So, of course, disciplining our children is necessary but the way we do it is more important.

For instance, if they are damaging behavior to themselves or others, that calls for a consequence. Not saying the result have to be negative. The impact could be positive, like doing choirs to think about their choices.

When you explain to a child why a particular consequence is being passed down, they will more thoroughly understand than just hitting them and sending them to bed without dinner (yeah, some parents are cruel).

Tip Six

The last tip I would want to give parents to help discipline their child is simple, but it’s not easy to do.

Be a role model to your kids.

More is caught than taught, meaning if you want your child to have discipline and be in control of their lives and take responsibility for their actions.

Then it would behoove you to be their role model. So they can see the change that YOU want them to be. Everybody knows kids listen and watch everything you do (if you know it or not).

Final Thoughts

I understand a lot of these tips require patience most of all. Something a lot of parents don’t have. That’s the main goal when it comes to all of these tips, just have patience.

If you have any more tips or like/dislike this list, then please comment below!! Thanks for reading!!

5 Money Lessons To Teach Your Kids

February 1, 2022 / Leave a Comment

My parents never talked about alcohol, sex, or money.

All three I had to find out on my own, learned what a hangover was after teen drinking with many high school buddies.

Anything with sex I learned from my friend and sex class. The only lesson my mom said was, “Don’t Bring No Baby in this House”.

I choose to be different here; this article will speak on the money lessons I teach my children, and you may want to teach your children as well.

As a guideline to coach them along the way, not forcing these lessons down my kids’ throats but wanting them away and knowledgeable, let’s get it started.

Money Lesson #1

Kids are eager to learn and grasp ideas more readily than adults can and will at a young age. For instance, at 5, I taught my daughter where the money comes from and how to pay for certain things.

Even what a stock is and how money grows, teaching her patience and delayed gratification regularly. For example, when it comes to standing in line at a grocery store teaches patience or delaying whenever she wants a gift.

In turn, when it comes to money, it will help her understand that patience will work when it comes to stocks and looking for deals.

Or just saving in general.

That way doing and saving together can help your child understand the importance of money and how to keep it.

Money Lesson #2

Many people, not just kids, learn better when given it in story form, for instance, The Richest Man in Babylon or Rich Dad Poor Dad.

People know a lot simply because it told a story and, in doing so, gave value as well. Or take the bible; a lot of the “Lessons” are described in story form to help us understand it better.

So with that being said, that’s why I say don’t lecture your kids when it comes to explaining money to them; give it to them in story form.

For instance, telling your teenager that credit card debt is wrong, won’t hit as hard.

Versus if you say a friend of mine could not get a house because of debt. This shows having too much debt will prevent you from obtaining specific items.

(FYI, I’m an advocate for no bad debt obligations).

Money Lesson #3

Another money lesson that should be done is to use real numbers, which I think is better than a made-up example.

I even remember, as a kid seeing an example of something that made it more believable for me.

Saying if you save for retirement is good for you versus saying if you invest $500 a month at an 8% interest rate between the ages of 25 and 65, you can retire with over $1.5 million dollars.

That puts a better impression on your child and makes it more obtainable and realistic for them. A site can help you calculate how much you could have by retirement if you put in the percentage, the amount saved, and length of time, called investors.gov or any other investment calculator.

Money Lesson #4

By now, you should understand that more is caught than taught by kids. They learn more by seeing and doing than actually lecturing them (even though that must be done).

The next money lesson is to keep money fights between you and your significant other.

Don’t let the kids see that; instead, if your child wants something and you feel it may be a disagreement.

Tell the child you will have to discuss it with your significate other to make the decision. It shows that the decisions you make or more logical than emotional.

Money Lesson #5

The last-year-old age advice that I feel kids need to learn early is that don’t try to keep up with the Joneses, aka your neighbors, friends, or people on social media.

It’s hard not to do that, especially when it comes to social media.

It is tough not to do it. If you can do that, you will be happier, and your kid will be more satisfied.

Yes, once again, I know it is complicated with social media, but please try to avoid that trap and teach the kids that your life will be way better. Also, avoid looking down on others who have less than you. Stay away from that behavior, especially when social media is not as accurate as kids think.

Conclusion

Even if you can teach your child/children one of these lessons it will help them greatly in life, and will be years ahead of their peers and in a better position than you were.

If you enjoyed reading this list or have suggestions for this list please comment below! Join my newsletter to have these blogs sent directly to your inbox.

6 Lessons You Should Avoid Teaching Children

February 1, 2022 / Leave a Comment

It is tough to avoid the wrong lessons that our parents taught us and pass them down to our kids.

So with that, here are a few lessons that I think could help reduce implementing these lessons.

Bad lesson #1

In the household growing up, I was taught that snitching was wrong. To the point that I would get in trouble for telling a teacher that someone was messing with me.

Because I wanted friends, I decided to keep my mouth closed to things and people bothering me. I tend to handle things on my own. But looking back, that was not a good idea.

Later on in life, it will be hard for you to open up about your issues and problems to others. Even more so, as a child, you start to keep more and more secrets away from your parents.

Teach your child to talk it out when it comes to unfair and difficult situations. Even when it seems like the problem is not huge to you.

Encourage working together on an issue versus forcing them to handle it independently.

Bad lesson #2

Growing up, I remember when it came to me crying and suffering or showing any negative emotions. It was too easy for my mother to shout and tell me to stop crying or suck it up.

That caused more harm than good and once again suppressed emotions and feelings, which could have horrible effects on adulthood.

So now, instead of doing that, we should talk it out with our children and allow them to express themselves. When it comes to anger or tantrums and talk it out like the tiny humans they are.

Of course, you want to discourage your child from screaming in the store and breaking toys and such.

After dealing with that issue, address why they are angry and upset and deal with it, basically the root cause. Then with that, you can help them find a more constructive way to deal with their negative emotions.

Bad lesson #3

Many parents try to force their kids to make people like them. Sure you should be a likable person, but everybody doesn’t need to like you or “be your friend”. Which can lead to people-pleasing and, more profound than that, exploitation.

For instance, your child may be hung up on being likable that your child will allow people to copy off their homework or, even worst, do their work for them.

I mean, I don’t discourage doing the work for others if they are going to pay, lol. Doing this will lead to lower self-esteem and expending on others to make them happy.

We should encourage instead to respect everybody instead of not being yourself and whoever likes you will like you, and whoever does not, it is ok.

Understand if a childs’ friend gets angry because of how they feel. By not letting them copy their work. Just means they were never their friend in the first place and keep it moving.

Bad lesson #4

Next, saying “get good grades, or you’ll never get a good job”. I’ve heard this a lot growing up, I am a C and B student. I ended up getting a pretty good job.

I know other people who are not good at school but can take a car apart and put it back together. Make a good living at it, too; I do not think that’s a good message for the children.

I know it’s easy to make that threat to a child if they messed up on a test or slacked off with their homework. Of course, you want to encourage a child to do their best in school but do not associate good grades with having a better job or necessarily success.

Life is so much more than that. Many other factors come into place when it comes to being successful in life or getting a good job.

Yes, education is more important.

Yes, you find more opportunities depending on the education and don’t confuse education with just school.

Instead, teach your child to work hard and learn to obtain a profitable skillset. Which is more critical than what marks you get on your report card.

Remember getting bad grades does not mean the child is not intelligent in other ways. There are more ways to define a child’s intelligence. Standardized tests are just one of them.

Bad Lesson #5

Teaching a child that making a mistake means losing something in return is just horrible. I know for a fact when I was a child, I made a mistake repeatedly.

Even when I would take things away from my kids now, they eventually do it again. Depending on the mistake, I don’t think there is a need for cruel punishment, such as flunking a test or getting a bad grade.

It could mean that the child needs a tutor to help them in that subject, not a punishment. I am sure many of you got in trouble as a child. Or another alternative route is to understand why a child did what they did, and maybe it’s a deeper cause and a cry for help, or moreover could give the child a more positive punishment such as extra chores.

Maybe depending on the task, they will think about what they have done and not do it again. Punishing after a mistake discourages your child from trying things. Always try to talk it out and find a more positive punishment vs. hitting or taking something away.

Bad lesson #6

In the last bad lesson, we should stop teaching our children. Is making kids always share their toys, sometimes even against their will.

Forced sharing will cause kids not to want to share and have negative feelings about communicating in general. I did this with my kids early on and learned that this was not the route.

For instance, I made my oldest share a doll with her younger sister, but of course, my youngest daughter ended up ripping the head off the doll, which made my oldest daughter angrier than before sharing with her.

This example shows I should not have forced her to share this toy because of how destructible her sister can be when it comes to toys. That’s when I decided to stop passing down that lesson. Instead of sharing everything, they should not be forced to share things with them regarding sentiment things. Even adults have items (granted of more value) that they don’t want to share with others.

Even though you may think that a child’s toy may be of lesser importance to you, it may be necessary to them, and you feel the child should share it now; if they are coloring, it’s ok to share coloring pencils or a ball.

It’s ok to teach your child to say no to things that are important to them, moreover teaching them to stand up for themselves and what they cherish most.

Final Thoughts

Well, that’s the end of the list; I hope this list helps you with your parenting style. If you agree or disagree with this list, then I would love to hear from you; please comment below! If you want more articles on parenting, then please subscribe!